Just Call Me Bro

Ever since I can remember I have always been friends with boys. When I was little I always found tea-parties and make believe very boring. I would watch the boys across the street play with cars, crashing into one another, fighting, playing with dirt. The boys would always have the most fun. I than became attached to the boys. I choose to bro out over girl talk any day! 
Dudes, you have it down! 
You get together you party, if you fight you settle it and that's that! There is nothing more simple than sitting at a bar with the guys and just chatting the day away, not talking about petty drama, but sports, and recent activities or the hot bartender! Of course I do have my girl friends, but you will find I spent the majority of my time with the guys. Now, I know that it is not as easy as it looks for a group of guys to hang out with a girl. Well I make it easy, I know that right away that I am there to just be one of the guys. The best thing about being a bro is being able to sit there and talk shit back and forth, back and forth and never take anything personally. 

I watched the movie Lawless the other day. The female character that plays aside Shia I was interested in and for all the wrong reasons. She had no fun WHAT SO EVER. The only fun expression shown on her face the entire movie was when she took a ride in a car. While, Shia's character, and Tom Hardy's character were selling moonshine, fighting, blowing shit up, guns and fast cars. The only fun the female character had was riding in a car. It was like watching a dog go for a car ride!! WHAT IS THE FUN IN THAT?!!!

I cannot stand how much the female population over-thinks things. "He gave me this look across the bar that has to mean something, right?" No bitch it means he was just looking at you!!! "He asked to borrow my phone to make a phone call. Out of all the people at work he asked me." He asked to borrow your phone because you were probably the first person he ran into. They have a way of making every situation much worse that it should be. "Well, he just texted me K. Like what the hell is that supposed to mean. You know what? I am not going to text him for a full day. See how he likes it." He probably loves it you crazy whore! "He asked me to go to the bar after work it means he wants something right?" No, it means he wants to go to the bar and get to know you better. THAT IS ALL! Men are simple creatures and women are vial, evil creatures and can flip, turn and manipulate anything you say or do!  In order to bro you have to stop over thinking everything and just take it as it comes at you. Usually with a guy, if he says something, he really does mean that one thing. 

Please ladies if you plan on switching from bitch to bro here are some simple rules:
1. DO NOT think that every bro wants to sleep with you. (They probably don't)
2. DO NOT go to a sporting event with a guy if you are going to sit there and ask annoying questions. (Take the time and google that shit)
3. DO NOT always get wasted with your bros. (Some times, you need to keep an eye on your bros, they are not your baby sitters)
4. If a bro gets into the friend zone (a friend (usually of the other sex) that has more feelings for you than you do for them, aka searching for a deeper relationship other than bro status.) let them know what your intentions are, let them know that you know they are in the friend zone and you would like to keep it that way.
5. DO NOT always talk about the exs who fucked you over. (No one cares)
6. DO NOT talk shit to a bro than get you feelings hurt when the bro shoots back. (Don't talk shit if you cannot dish it)
7. DO NOT let them pay for lunch/dinner/bar-tab always (sometimes, things still need to be fair) be sure they know that you can pay for yourself and others.
8. DO NOT worry about having your make up always be done around them. (if they are a true bro, they won't give a shit what you look like)
9. DO NOT try to start a relationship with a bro. (It'll cause a catastrophic end for the entire group and a "divorce" type situation begins.)
10. PLAY video games. Get on an xbox, ps3, and shoot something. (It's more fun than you think!)
11. DO NOT get offended when the word bitch is used in your direction (usually people only take offense to something when they are what they are being called, and you can't be a bitch if you want to be a bro.)

All in all I rather hang out or "bro-out" with the guys before catching up with girls. But that's just me! I will never be that over thinking, upsetting, overly offended, boring, gossipy excuse for a girl. I will be with my bros, talking shit, drinking beer, talking sports, enjoying life!