What Are You Talking About?!

Anyone who has worked in any type of customer service job knows what I am about to talk about. 

WEIRD CUSTOMERS

We don't encounter these often but when we do it is a story for decades. 


First off I will start, If you have your own personal name for an item of clothing that you wear often. Do not come into MY store and expect me to know what you are talking about.


Here I am, at work, been at work for 8 hours, working on a floorset.
Definition of Floorset (noun) When a retailer gets new merchandise, they have to change the floor to sell said merchandise. Usually takes 2-4 people based on floor size, and starts at ass-crack of dawn, takes 16-40 man hours to prepare.


I am getting prepared to finish up for the day, so it is time to put the supplies and tools away, now that we have customer traffic in the store. Here I am marching down the isle with a ladder on my shoulder. Usually, when I do so I keep my head to the ground and try not to make eye contact with any customer therefore I have the time to get my job done. 
"MISS!!! MISS!!" (Side note: I love getting screamed at.)  "Yes, ma'am can I help you with finding something." This is muttered loudly at the lady so that she cannot hear me mutter under my breathe what the fuck do you want?! 
She is looking in the department of swim, she is not looking in my department, which is why I was trying to avoid her, knowing full well that I was not going to be able to answer her question. 
"I am looking for a shoe called "Squishy"." I look at her puzzled and say "well ma'am I don't work in the shoe department so I am not sure if we carry "Squishies"."
  
Remember, when you were a kid and you had a special name for your stuffed animal. You never called it your stuffed dog, or stuffed bear, it had a name. (Mine was sparkles) If you ever lost such stuffed animal you were never able to describe it other than, it's snickers, or it's wellington, because it meant more to you than just a stuffed animal. 


The lady cuts me off while I am speaking, (Side Note #2: I love getting cut off while trying to explain something to a customer.) "I call them squishy, its not what they are called."

.....wait....

.......hold on.....

.......pause.....

You ask me if we have a certain item called squishy then procede to tell me that you made that name up yourself?! 
HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT A SQUISHY IS IF YOU MADE THAT NAME UP YOURSELF?!!!
"They are actually not like a flip flop, but they are water shoes, well not exactly water shoes." This is the point where I blocked the lady out of my head because I just couldn't process her in my brain any longer. I ended up just pointing her in the direction of my departments water shoes and walking away. In a moment like this you have walk away and try to process everything that just happened. You begin to ask yourself questions.
"Was she serious?"
"Do I act this way when I shop?"
"Did she really expect me to know what she was talking about?"
"How many other poor souls in the retail business did she baffle with that question?" 
"What grown adult gives names to there shoes?"
Just had to sit on it for a second and try to understand what just had happened. It shouldn't bother someone as much as it did, but what I think it boils down to is the idiocy of customers these days.  They expect that when they walk into a store for the associate there to just know everything they are thinking. Then to act surprised or disgruntled when we do not.  

On a Happy Note

Randomly after this stupid ass incident I had to work at the cash register and help check out a mom. She was with her two kids buying clothes.

Now we try not to judge when working customer service but it is against human nature when you try and fight that urge.  Now, to iterate, I do not hate kids, kids are awesome, we were all kids once.  I don't have anything against kids with learning disabilities, or mental disabilities. But when I have to laugh at something I have to laugh.

After I got done checking this woman out. Her daughter then proceeds to play on the CT scanner. 

Definition CT Scanner (noun): The box that sits in front of the register where you slide your card, answer some questions and enter in your pin number. 

This little girl, looks me dead in the eye. Picks up the fake pin that is attached the the CT scanner, begins to scribble on the screen. In a dull, loud, awkward voice says to me, "I'm an adult." She proceeds to violently scribble on the CT scanner, and then begin to pretend that the card was declined. She began yelling at her imaginary husband for spending it on a sports car, and women she didn't know. 

Now remember this little girl is probably all of 7-8 years of age. 

Then here I am not sure if I should walk away from her, find her mom, or just continue to stand there with a stupid look on my face. 

I just ended up walking away from her.

As we conclude our section of weird customers we conclude with what we have learned for the day.

1. When an associate is carrying a big ladder and proceeding to look at the ground, do not, I repeat, DO NOT yell at said associate across the isle, because at that moment the good customer service you came in for is thrown out the window.

2. Feel free to make up names for your personal items, just do not expect to have people understand what the hell you are talking about.

3. The television can and does make a great baby sitter for kids when you feel like not watching them, but do not leave it on T.V shows such as Desperate Housewives, or any reality T.V show. These children will begin playing as if there life mission is to be the next star on the 25th season of Big Brother.